People who do not identify as white may also find this book helpful for understanding why it is so often difficult to talk to white people about racism. People of color cannot avoid understanding white consciousness to some degree if they are to be successful in this society, yet nothing in dominant culture affirms their understanding or validates their frustrations when they interact with white people. I hope that this exploration affirms the cross-racial experiences of people of color and provides some useful insight. This book — xv: 219-223
People of color may also hold prejudices and discriminate against white people, but they lack the social and institutional power that transforms their prejudice and discrimination into racism; the impact of their prejudice on whites is temporary and contextual. — 22: 575-577
When I say that only whites can be racist, I mean that in the United States, only whites have the collective social and institutional power and privilege over people of color. People of color do not have this power and privilege over white people. — 22: 581-583
Avoiding direct racial language and using racially coded terms such as urban, underprivileged, diverse, sketchy, and good neighborhoods — 43: 919-921
Readers may be asking themselves, “But if the neighborhood is really dangerous, why is acknowledging this danger a sign of racism?” Research in implicit bias has shown that perceptions of criminal activity are influenced by race. White people will perceive danger simply by the presence of black people; we cannot trust our perceptions when it comes to race and crime.7 But regardless of whether the neighborhood is actually more or less dangerous than other neighborhoods, what is salient about this exchange is how it functions racially and what that means for the white people engaged in it. For my friend and me, this conversation did not increase our awareness of the danger of some specific neighborhood. Rather, the exchange reinforced our fundamental beliefs about black people. Toni Morrison uses the term race talk to capture “the explicit insertion into everyday life of racial signs and symbols that have no meaning other than positioning African Americans into the lowest level of the racial hierarchy.”8 Casual race talk is a key component of white racial framing because it accomplishes the interconnected goals of elevating whites while demeaning people of color; race talk always implies a racial “us” and “them.” — 45: 946-956
Most whites who recall having a friend of color in childhood rarely keep these friendships into adulthood. Yet if my parents had thought it was valuable to have cross-racial relationships, they would have ensured that I had them, even if it took effort—the same effort so many white parents expend to send their children across town so they can attend a better (whiter) school. — 68: 1311-1313
themselves. A racism-free upbringing is not possible, because racism is a social system embedded in the culture and its institutions. — 83: 1546-1547
“If privilege is defined as a legitimization of one’s entitlement to resources, it can also be defined as permission to escape or avoid any challenges to this entitlement.”8 — 111: 1977-1979
“What would it be like if you could simply give us feedback, have us graciously receive it, reflect, and work to change the behavior?” — 113: 2000-2001
ASSUMPTIONS • Racism is simply personal prejudice. • I am free of racism. • I will be the judge of whether racism has occurred. • My learning is finished; I know all I need to know. • Racism can only be intentional; my not having intended racism cancels out the impact of my behavior. • My suffering relieves me of racism or racial privilege. • White people who experience another form of oppression cannot experience racial privilege. • If I am a good person, I can’t be racist. • I am entitled to remain comfortable/have this conversation the way I want to. • How I am perceived by others is the most important issue. • As a white person, I know the best way to challenge racism. • If I am feeling challenged, you are doing this wrong. • It’s unkind to point out racism. • Racism is conscious bias. I have none, so I am not racist. • Racists are bad individuals, so you are saying that I am a bad person. • If you knew me or understood me, you would know I can’t be racist. • I have friends of color, so I can’t be racist. • There is no problem; society is fine the way it is. • Racism is a simple problem. People just need to . . . • My worldview is objective and the only one operating. • If I can’t see it, it isn’t legitimate. • If you have more knowledge on the subject than I do, you think you’re better than me. — 121: 2100-2119
Feedback is key to our ability to recognize and repair our inevitable and often unaware collusion. In recognition of this, I try to follow these guidelines: 1. How, where, and when you give me feedback is irrelevant—it is the feedback I want and need. Understanding that it is hard to give, I will take it any way I can get it. From my position of social, cultural, and institutional white power and privilege, I am perfectly safe and I can handle it. If I cannot handle it, it’s on me to build my racial stamina. 2. Thank you. — 125: 2171-2176
The above guidelines rest on the understanding that there is no face to save and the game is up; I know that I have blind spots and unconscious investments in racism. My investments are reinforced every day in mainstream society. I did not set this system up, but it does unfairly benefit me, I do use it to my advantage, and I am responsible for interrupting it. I need to work hard to change my role in this system, but I can’t do it alone. This understanding leads me to gratitude when others help me. — 125: 2176-2180
white people raised in Western society are conditioned into a white supremacist worldview because it is the bedrock of our society and its institutions. — 129: 2230-2231
Consequently, if we whites want to interrupt this system, we have to get racially uncomfortable and be willing to examine the effects of our racial engagement. This includes not indulging in whatever reactions we have—anger, defensiveness, self-pity, and so forth—in a given cross-racial encounter without first reflecting on what is driving our reactions and how they will affect other people. — 135: 2313-2316
To be less white is to be less racially oppressive. — 150: 2536-2536
Ultimately, I strive for a less white identity for my own liberation and sense of justice, not to save people of color. — 150: 2541-2542
For example, I might say, “I can understand why you feel that way. I have felt that way myself. However, because of my opportunity to work with people of color and hear their perspectives, I have come to understand . . . ” I then share what I have come to understand with the emphasis on how this understanding relates to me. While this strategy is not guaranteed to lower defensiveness, it’s difficult to argue with someone who has framed a response as her or his own personal insight. — 150: 2550-2554
But the objective that guides me is my own need to break with white solidarity, even when it’s uncomfortable, which it almost always is. In the end, my actions are driven by my own need for integrity, not a need to correct or change someone else. — 151: 2559-2561
Sensoy, Özlem, and Robin DiAngelo. Is Everyone Really Equal? An Introduction to Key Concepts in Critical Social Justice Education, 2nd ed. New York: Teachers College Press, 2017. — 157: 2639-2641